Pardon me

A Wild Dance of Hypocrisy: Pardons, Presidents, and Media Madness

There’s a special breed of insanity that descends upon the American media whenever the whiff of presidential pardons fills the air. Like buzzards circling a rotting carcass, they swoop in, feathers ruffled, claws out, ready to dissect and devour—provided the feast suits their ideological appetite. Some prefer donkey, some elephant. When their preferred meat is on the menu, they suddenly become refined diners, praising the exquisite aroma of justice served. It’s a grotesque ballet of hypocrisy, and the curtains have just risen.

Observe the absurd theater of the past few weeks. On the one hand, you have Joe Biden, in his final days as president, handing out pardons like party favors. Among the recipients? Public servants like Dr. Anthony Fauci and General Mark Milley, who, according to Biden, needed protection from “politically motivated retribution.” The Associated Press waxed poetic about this noble gesture, assuring readers that these weren’t pardons in the traditional sense, but shields for democracy. “A safeguard,” they called it, as if Biden were a medieval knight slaying partisan dragons.

Vanity Fair swooped in with a high-minded defense, framing the move as a selfless act to protect public servants from the incoming Trumpian storm. “Not an acknowledgment of guilt,” they proclaimed, their voices dripping with righteousness. To read these articles, you’d think Biden was channeling the wisdom of Solomon, dispensing clemency with divine precision. The Times even went so far as to describe these preemptive pardons as a bulwark against “partisan-driven attacks,” a noble act to uphold democratic principles.

Fast forward a few days, and here comes Donald Trump, strutting into his second term with the subtlety of a wrecking ball. On his very first day, he pardons over 1,500 individuals connected to the January 6 Capitol riot. The media, predictably, loses its collective mind. The Associated Press, which just days earlier had praised Biden for using pardons as “a safeguard,” now warns that Trump’s actions “legitimize political violence and embolden extremists.” The Times, suddenly puritanical, calls Trump’s pardons “repugnant,” likening them to a slap in the face of democracy itself.

Pause here for a moment to let the hypocrisy settle in. What’s the difference between Biden’s pardons and Trump’s? Both involve controversial figures. Both are laden with political implications. Yet the media’s response couldn’t be more polarized. When Biden does it, it’s a noble act of protection. When Trump does it, it’s a catastrophic moral failure. The ideological gymnastics required to maintain such doublethink would make an Olympic gymnast weep.

Here’s the rub: presidential pardons have always been a murky exercise of power. They’re a get-out-of-jail-free card, often steeped in political calculation rather than moral clarity. Biden’s pardons shielded his inner circle and public servants; Trump’s pardons shielded his political allies and supporters. The difference lies not in the act itself but in who benefits—and, more importantly, who’s reporting it.

The media, in its ideological fervor, has become a two-headed beast. One head nods approvingly when its favored president acts, while the other snarls and snaps at the opposition for doing the same thing. It’s not journalism; it’s cheerleading disguised as critique. They have no allegiance to consistency, only to the narrative that suits their agenda.

As Hunter S. Thompson once said, “Politics is the art of controlling your environment.” In this case, the media has mastered the art of controlling perception. They dress up Biden’s actions as a heroic stand for democracy while painting Trump’s as the unraveling of the republic. It’s a masterclass in selective outrage, and the American public is left to sift through the wreckage, trying to make sense of the chaos.

In the end, the pardons themselves are almost irrelevant. What matters is the story being told, the narrative being spun. And right now, that narrative is a tangled web of contradictions, hypocrisy, and ideological fervor. The media has abandoned its role as a watchdog and taken up the mantle of partisan cheerleader. And we, the hapless audience, are left to watch this tragicomedy unfold, wondering if there’s anyone left who values truth over tribe.

So, here’s to the madness. Here’s to the media, the presidents, and the pardons that keep this circus rolling. May we never lose our capacity for outrage—or our ability to see through the smoke and mirrors. Because if we can’t, we’re doomed to repeat this grotesque dance, over and over again, until the curtain finally falls.